Outcast (2014)

Hayden Christensen and Nicolas Cage: an unexpected, but delicious pairing, much like vanilla and ham. Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches what should have been two "great" ice cream flavors tasting great together get soured by too much soy sauce. (Note to self: stop blogging while hungry.)

To quote my notes, "dis gon b gud"

Overview: In a movie should have been impossible to fuck up, Jacob (Hayden "Sandy Anakin" Christensen) and Gallain (Our Lord and Savior Nicolas Cage) are two knights in the Crusades. Gallain has seen this shit before and knows the Crusades aren't godly; meanwhile, Jacob, the younger and more idealistic one, just wants to smite some heretic Muslims. After following them carve their way past some Moors who are portrayed with the appropriate amount of sympathy because 2014, the movie jumps to "CHINA. THREE YEARS LATER."