Foodfight! (2012)

Once I was about two-thirds of the way through this movie, I started drinking vodka straight from the bottle and my notes after that contain nothing but "KILL ME" written over and over in an unsteady hand.

This is Foodfight!

abandon all hope, ye who enter here

Elektra (2005)

Come, young ones. Journey back to a time of great darkness for our world. A time when George W. Bush was somehow beginning his second term as president of the United States. A time when the world was shocked by a major American city which sat at a low elevation near the ocean getting annihilated by a hurricane. (Totally unexpected.) A time when the word "Marvel" meant not fun action movies, but rather, horrible schlock likes of which most of us would rather forget. The year is 2005. The movie? Elektra.

on the plus side, Garner looked pretty hot

Overview: Elektra is a legendary assassin, considered an urban myth by some. She takes no shit from anybody (except maybe her agent), and is one of those superheroes without any real powers beyond "fights good."

Schoolgirl Hitchhikers (1973)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex gets his exploitation movie groove on with a 70s tale of ambiguously bisexual... you guessed it... schoolgirl hitchhikers. I swear I'm not seeking out these movies.

Yeah, this is another kind-of porn movie.

Overview: Our movie opens with our two heroines, Monica and Jackie, on vacation from... school, I guess... wandering around the countryside and camping. They come across an abandoned house and break in, have sex on top of the covers of a bed, have sex with a random man, and then become entangled in a criminal conspiracy.

Dhoom: 3 (2013)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex takes a look at how Bollywood makes their big-budget action movies. He is simultaneously impressed and horrified. This is Dhoom: 3. And its trailer is almost better than the movie.

Not to be confused with Doom.

Overview: The third installment of what is apparently a big blockbuster series on the subcontinent, Dhoom: 3 takes viewers to the gritty streets of Chicago, where the son of a circus-running immigrant is bent on having his revenge on the "corrupt" (more on that later) bank that forced his father into suicide. Action scenes ensue.

God's Not Dead (2014)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex gets angrier about a movie than he's ever gotten in his entire life. This is God's Not Dead.

believing is good, right?

I'm bringing a lot of baggage and personal bias into this one. I'm not going into this intending to trash religion, but goddamn if this movie doesn't make it tempting and easy.

Overview: A college freshman takes an intro-level Philosophy course form the infamous Professor Radisson, an atheist, who opens the first session of class by requesting everyone sign a statement stating God is dead in order to move on to more important issues.

Kung Fury (2015)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex bears witness to the birth of a legend. Behold, the pinnacle of human achievement. Behold... Kung Fury.

so 80s it had to be made 30 years later

Overview: Kung Fury is a kung-fu cop in 1985 Miami who travels back in time to kill Adolf Hitler.  Along the way, he takes a swing through the Viking Age and teams up with Thor. Danger 5 wished it was this insane.

"The greatest criminal of all time."

And you can watch it for free thanks to the generosity of its creators, who know that their gospel must be viewed the world around. Seriously. Watch this movie right now. Did I mention that David Hasselhoff recorded a theme song for this that is the second greatest thing mankind has produced?

Kill 'Em All (2012)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches a movie with a title too badass for this world.

sadly not from the director of Bangcock Andrenaline

Overview: A group of assassins wake up after successful hits in the "Killing Chamber," where a voice on a speaker tells them they must fight to the death in a martial arts tournament to win their freedom. Many fight scenes ensue.