Overkill (1987)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches the wrong movie.

whoops

So, today I had actually intended to watch Overkill, a 90s movie starring Chuck Norris' ill-fated brother Aaron Norris. What could be better than watching a man try and fail to live up to his brother's B-movie stardom, I figured? However, due to my own carelessness and a misleading Netflix description, I ended up watching Overkill, an 80s movie starring nobody you've ever heard of. It ended up being blog-worthy material anyway, so I'm rolling with it.

Overview: Mickey Delaney is a no-nonsense L.A. cop who's convinced the Yakuza are out to take over the West Coast. He doesn't play by the rules, but he always gets his man. He teams up with a Tokyo cop visiting the U.S. after family tragedy to bring the fight to the Yakuza's doorstep. No jurisdiction, no warrants, no authority, no fucks given. That's Delaney's style.

no uniforms either

In case you haven't caught on, this is the quintessential 80s American action film: a rogue cop out for justice who doesn't care how many he buries to do the right thing. More after the break!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex witnesses a rape.

of childhoods

Overview: Desperate to steal more ideas from the past (never mind that this was done not that long ago), Hollywood returns to the story of the radical four turtles who fight a samurai guy. Meanwhile, a benevolent businessman hatches a sinister scheme. This time Michael Bay has a hand in things, so there are explosions! (More after the break.)

Lake Placid (1999)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, a movie is rescued from its incompetency by its stupidity. Come take a dip in Lake Placid.

or don't

Overview: A mysterious creature kills a man at the local lake (which, by the by, is not even named Lake Placid). A tooth is recovered which appears prehistoric, so the local sheriff and the Game & Parks officer get the help of a New York paleontologist to identify the beast.

Theodore Rex (1995)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches a movie starring Whoopi Goldberg as a no-nonsense cop who teams up with a talking dinosaur to solve a murder and save the world. It's every bit as bad as it sounds.

god I wish I was making this up

Overview: In the world of "the grid," Whoopi Goldberg is a tough cyborg cop named Katie Coletrain who doesn't play by the rules. When another dinosaur (which are around due to genetic engineering thanks to the bad guy) is killed, desk officer Theodore Rex teams up with Coletrain to solve the case. What follows made me reacquaint myself with my old friend day drinking.

[More after the break.]

Devil (2010)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex finally takes on a movie made by one of the most infamous hacks working in Hollywood today. Hold on to your twists... this is Devil.

how this managed 52% on rotten tomatoes I'll never know

Overview: Five strangers in a modern-day Philadelphia office building take an elevator, get trapped, and then get killed off one by one by someone who may or may not be the devil. Can a cynical Detective Bowden, who's still reeling from losing his family to an unsolved hit and run, unravel the mystery? (Hint: he should check the title of the fucking movie.) More after the break!

Ghost Lake (2004)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches a zombie movie that is simultaneously an argument against the existence of zombie movies and a primer on how not to make a movie.

whoever said the quote evidently only saw one horror movie that year

Overview: Becky Haster is a young woman who's been through a lot lately. After taking care of her aging parents for several years, they die to a gas leak the one night she goes out. In her grief, she retires to her parents' lake cabin to get away from it all. Suddenly, murders, a whirlwind romance, and zombies ensue.

I don't, I don't!

A Humble Request

Heya folks, your friendly rage blogger here. Yesterday, I was laid off from my day job. I've known this was coming for about two months now, and despite my best efforts, I haven't been able to find other employment.

It's never been easy for me to ask for help, but if I could somehow make this blog my job (or at least give me a little money to get by), that would be a dream come true. I never have, nor will I ever, put ads on this blog, because I've always hated ads.

In any case, if you need to take care of yourself, by all means see to your own needs first. I'll survive. But if you like what I'm doing here and can spare a buck or two, I'd be eternally grateful. I'm using a website called Patreon that uses a simple system where people can pledge to give X dollars per month, and nothing is charged until the end of the month. A few of my friends have used it, and I used it in more prosperous times to support a few internet folk whose creative works enriched my life. If you think I'm worth the support, I'd love ya forever (and give you some sweet rewards... see the page for details) if you can chip a little my way. I'll keep doing what I'm doing regardless, because I like doing this, but I have a mercenary soul. Money's a motivator, since ramen and my rent aren't free, sadly.

The Patreon page is here!