Robot Monster (1953)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex desperately wishes for an hour of his life back.

Yeah, because I was REALLY expecting quality from this, right?

Overview: Our tale begins with Johnny, an all-American youngster who loves science and loves to play space cops. Or something. He's out for a picnic with his annoying little sister, older sister, and mom, when suddenly the setting shifts to a post-apocalyptic world where the fearsome Ro-man has wiped out all other human life, and Johnny and co. are only alive thanks to SCIENCE!

Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life (2005)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex cartwheels from talking about a movie that was basically softcore porn to a Lifetime original movie about the dangers of porn addiction. Am I going to have way too much fun with this?

You bet yer ass.

Also there's a trailer I guess.

Overview: Justin Petersen is your average, somewhat awkward teenage boy, but all in all he has a decent life. He kicks ass and takes names when it comes to swim meets, he's got a cute girlfriend named Amy, and he's at least respected by most of his classmates. But then came the evils of PORRRRRRN!

Who am I to argue with Google?

009-1: The End of the Beginning (2013)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches the strangest softcore porn/spy thriller he's ever seen.

Yes, it's another weird film from our friends in Japan.

Overview: 009-1 is a sexy cyborg agent for the Western Bloc in a future where Japan is cut in half and at war with itself. This femme fatale superspy is tasked to rescue one of the West's foremost scientists by the name of Dr. Klein. Along the way, she finds out more of her conveniently amnesia'ed past.

Waterworld (1995)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex finds the movie supplying a perfect visual summary of itself within its first two minutes.

The jar represents you, the viewer, and the piss represents... well, you get it.

Occasionally, I need an easy target.

Overview: Shitty writing ruins what could have been a fascinating world.

Larry Gaye: Renegade Male Flight Attendant (2015)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex takes in the story of the most punchable face in the history of cinema.

that face begs for a fist

Overview: Larry Gaye is a legend in the airline business, having won the apparently prestigious "Golden Coffee Pot" award five years running. He does the flight attendant thing well, bangs all the ladies, and refuses to settle down. But what's this? Shadowy execs are trying to cut costs by introducing sophisticated, sexy robots to replace flight attendants! Le gasp! Only a Gaye man can stop these sinister she-bots!

heh heh, couldn't resist, there

Vampire's Kiss (1988)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex revisits a true masterpiece.

yesssssss.

Overview: Peter Lowe is a fucking crazy person who begins to think he's a vampire after a fling with a seductive lady who may or may not be a vampire and may or may not exist. Meanwhile, Lowe is the worst boss ever to an employee. Cage picks the dumbest accent ever to supposedly honor his father. He also rapes somebody.

"You know how it is."