Happy new year!

Sorry for the lack of updates lately; I just started a new job on top of holiday things happening. I'll get back to this as soon as I have everything balanced again!

Smosh: the Movie (2015)

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches a series of cameos strung together with a sixth grade script try to pass itself off as one of these things called a "movie."

BOY HOWDY, THEM'S FROM THE YEW TUBS! HOW QUIRKY!

Overview: A couple of guys who have inexplicably found massive success on YouTube try to put on the big boy pants and make an actual movie. It fails.

Ratatoing (2007)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex has traumatic flashbacks to the likes of Foodfight!

The horror. The horror.

Before I begin, it is my sad duty to inform you that this movie has been uploaded to YouTube by its creators. You can suffer along with me for free!

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches the one of biggest modern examples of cinematic hubris crash and burn.

rip Square Pictures

Overview: The year is 2065. Semi-corporeal aliens called "Phantoms" have been invading Earth for 34 years, and most of the planet lies barren and lifeless. Humanity survives in shielded cities, made possible through the brilliance of Dr. Sid.

Hackers (1995)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches The Net, if it was run through eight different filters of the kind of RADICAL that so thoroughly infected the mid-90s. Let's pretend that high schoolers can topple massive conspiracies because they know how to use computers. That's a thing, right?

You wouldn't get it, gramps. Now let's do some sweet kickflips on our skateboards

Overview: Dade Murphy, AKA "Zero Cool", is a young genius who, when he was around 12, crashed over 5,000 computers and, by court order, was forbidden to use a computer or touch-tone phone until he turns 18. Well, he's turned 18, and he's ready to tear things up again.

That's the face of smoldering rage.

The Runner (2015)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches Nicolas Cage's dick lead him to ruin.

No, seriously. That's the entire movie.

Overview: The Great One plays Colin Pryce, an idealistic Louisiana Representative who skyrockets to national attention through his passionate efforts to protect his home state from a Gulf oil spill. Complications occur when the press discovers he's cheating on his wife.

Robot Monster (1953)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex desperately wishes for an hour of his life back.

Yeah, because I was REALLY expecting quality from this, right?

Overview: Our tale begins with Johnny, an all-American youngster who loves science and loves to play space cops. Or something. He's out for a picnic with his annoying little sister, older sister, and mom, when suddenly the setting shifts to a post-apocalyptic world where the fearsome Ro-man has wiped out all other human life, and Johnny and co. are only alive thanks to SCIENCE!