Maximum Conviction (2012)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches a movie co-starring Steven Seagall and Steve Austin. Gods help me.

Any Jewish readers should beware all the ham to follow

Overview: Two ex-soldiers defend, then attack a high-security prison. Steven Seagal tries to be cool and fails, since he can't match his masterpiece and Austin is... well, he's alright. The plot revolves around two women considered high-value prisoners by the CIA held while the facility is being decommissioned and blah blah blah GUNFIGHTS!

Underworld (2003)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex ventures  back to the dark days when he was an angsty teen and the worst shit was cool. Including this garbage. This is Underworld.

yes, she is unironically posing moodily with a trenchcoat. The early 00s were a strange time.

Overview: Selene is a Death Dealer, a vampire dedicated to seeking out and destroying the sworn enemies of her kind: werewolves, called Lycans. A mission brings her into contact with a perfectly ordinary human named Michael, save for his unique condition: he was born without a personality. Can love bloom, even on the battlefield as Michael as kidknapped by werewolves and Selene has to bust out her Distressed Dude?