Fantastic Four (2005)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches one of the many movies that Marvel hopes you've forgotten. Seriously, for all the good movies these guys put out these days, there are scores more in their history to rag on. I may have to do a Marvel month one of these days... but that's neither here nor there. Here is Fantastic Four.

in all its glory and all its horror

Overview: Dr. Reed Richards has a theory about cosmic radiation triggering increased evolution, and shock shock such a storm is about to hit the Urf! Out of options, he asks for funding from everyone's best pal, Victor Von Doom, to study the phenomenon.

introduced looking like this

Things inevitably go wrong, and everybody gets superpowers. Reed gets the ability to stretch, his pal Ben becomes a superstrong golem, love interest Sue gets invisibility/force field powers, and her jackass brother Johnny gets the power to be made of fire when he feels like it.

Outcast (2014)

Hayden Christensen and Nicolas Cage: an unexpected, but delicious pairing, much like vanilla and ham. Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches what should have been two "great" ice cream flavors tasting great together get soured by too much soy sauce. (Note to self: stop blogging while hungry.)

To quote my notes, "dis gon b gud"

Overview: In a movie should have been impossible to fuck up, Jacob (Hayden "Sandy Anakin" Christensen) and Gallain (Our Lord and Savior Nicolas Cage) are two knights in the Crusades. Gallain has seen this shit before and knows the Crusades aren't godly; meanwhile, Jacob, the younger and more idealistic one, just wants to smite some heretic Muslims. After following them carve their way past some Moors who are portrayed with the appropriate amount of sympathy because 2014, the movie jumps to "CHINA. THREE YEARS LATER."

Guest Roulette: Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1

(Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex lets somebody else try this shit for a change. My buddy and fellow movie enthusiast Jacob tackles yet another goddamn Batman movie below.)

Think Batman vs. Superman just jumped out of the comics for our viewing pleasure? Think again. DC has been at this game before. Which time are we going to explore today? The 2012 animated movie Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1.