The Ridiculous 6 (2015)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches Adam Sandler desperately try to stay relevant.

Netflix, what have you done?

Overview: Tommy "White Knife" is a badass warrior raised by Apaches. All is well in his life, as he's about to marry his Apache girlfriend Smoking Fox (seriously), but then complications arise! His father, an affable former bandit, arrives seeking to patch things up with his son and give him the small fortune he's tucked away to make amends for his life a crime. The dad's former gang spirits him away, and with help from a quote-unquote "zany" cast of characters who all happen to be his half-brothers, Tommy sets off to get their dad back.

Over the Top (1987)

Fuck, how do I do this again? What is this about?

ah yes of course

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches a movie from the 80s about arm wrestling. And evil old people. And being a trucker? This is "Why in God's Name Did Someone Let Sylvester Stallone Touch the Screenplay!"

aka Over the Top

Overview: Lincoln Hawk (often referred to as "Linc" for some reason) is a trucker who left his wife ten years ago because of reasons that aren't ever explained. He goes to pick his kid up from a weird military academy that accepts 8 year olds because of more reasons! They road trip and bond for like ten minutes and then it's an arm wrestling tournament for 50 minutes. ...Yeah.

Happy new year!

Sorry for the lack of updates lately; I just started a new job on top of holiday things happening. I'll get back to this as soon as I have everything balanced again!

Smosh: the Movie (2015)

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches a series of cameos strung together with a sixth grade script try to pass itself off as one of these things called a "movie."

BOY HOWDY, THEM'S FROM THE YEW TUBS! HOW QUIRKY!

Overview: A couple of guys who have inexplicably found massive success on YouTube try to put on the big boy pants and make an actual movie. It fails.

Ratatoing (2007)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex has traumatic flashbacks to the likes of Foodfight!

The horror. The horror.

Before I begin, it is my sad duty to inform you that this movie has been uploaded to YouTube by its creators. You can suffer along with me for free!

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches the one of biggest modern examples of cinematic hubris crash and burn.

rip Square Pictures

Overview: The year is 2065. Semi-corporeal aliens called "Phantoms" have been invading Earth for 34 years, and most of the planet lies barren and lifeless. Humanity survives in shielded cities, made possible through the brilliance of Dr. Sid.

Hackers (1995)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches The Net, if it was run through eight different filters of the kind of RADICAL that so thoroughly infected the mid-90s. Let's pretend that high schoolers can topple massive conspiracies because they know how to use computers. That's a thing, right?

You wouldn't get it, gramps. Now let's do some sweet kickflips on our skateboards

Overview: Dade Murphy, AKA "Zero Cool", is a young genius who, when he was around 12, crashed over 5,000 computers and, by court order, was forbidden to use a computer or touch-tone phone until he turns 18. Well, he's turned 18, and he's ready to tear things up again.

That's the face of smoldering rage.