Fantastic Four (2005)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex watches one of the many movies that Marvel hopes you've forgotten. Seriously, for all the good movies these guys put out these days, there are scores more in their history to rag on. I may have to do a Marvel month one of these days... but that's neither here nor there. Here is Fantastic Four.

in all its glory and all its horror

Overview: Dr. Reed Richards has a theory about cosmic radiation triggering increased evolution, and shock shock such a storm is about to hit the Urf! Out of options, he asks for funding from everyone's best pal, Victor Von Doom, to study the phenomenon.

introduced looking like this

Things inevitably go wrong, and everybody gets superpowers. Reed gets the ability to stretch, his pal Ben becomes a superstrong golem, love interest Sue gets invisibility/force field powers, and her jackass brother Johnny gets the power to be made of fire when he feels like it.

Elektra (2005)

Come, young ones. Journey back to a time of great darkness for our world. A time when George W. Bush was somehow beginning his second term as president of the United States. A time when the world was shocked by a major American city which sat at a low elevation near the ocean getting annihilated by a hurricane. (Totally unexpected.) A time when the word "Marvel" meant not fun action movies, but rather, horrible schlock likes of which most of us would rather forget. The year is 2005. The movie? Elektra.

on the plus side, Garner looked pretty hot

Overview: Elektra is a legendary assassin, considered an urban myth by some. She takes no shit from anybody (except maybe her agent), and is one of those superheroes without any real powers beyond "fights good."