Foodfight! (2012)

Once I was about two-thirds of the way through this movie, I started drinking vodka straight from the bottle and my notes after that contain nothing but "KILL ME" written over and over in an unsteady hand.

This is Foodfight!

abandon all hope, ye who enter here

Elektra (2005)

Come, young ones. Journey back to a time of great darkness for our world. A time when George W. Bush was somehow beginning his second term as president of the United States. A time when the world was shocked by a major American city which sat at a low elevation near the ocean getting annihilated by a hurricane. (Totally unexpected.) A time when the word "Marvel" meant not fun action movies, but rather, horrible schlock likes of which most of us would rather forget. The year is 2005. The movie? Elektra.

on the plus side, Garner looked pretty hot

Overview: Elektra is a legendary assassin, considered an urban myth by some. She takes no shit from anybody (except maybe her agent), and is one of those superheroes without any real powers beyond "fights good."

Schoolgirl Hitchhikers (1973)

Today on Movie Russian Roulette, Alex gets his exploitation movie groove on with a 70s tale of ambiguously bisexual... you guessed it... schoolgirl hitchhikers. I swear I'm not seeking out these movies.

Yeah, this is another kind-of porn movie.

Overview: Our movie opens with our two heroines, Monica and Jackie, on vacation from... school, I guess... wandering around the countryside and camping. They come across an abandoned house and break in, have sex on top of the covers of a bed, have sex with a random man, and then become entangled in a criminal conspiracy.